Tag: tv

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If this isn't civil war, what the hell is???

The former Iraqi ‘president’, Iyad Allawi has said that iraq is in a civil war. Seems like a fairly obvious thing to say, given that scores of people are being killed every day, there are two definable sides to this both with military capabilities, that are daily bombing, shooting, slaughtering one another.

However, those genius revisionists in the White House and Downing Street are claiming that there’s no civil war, with Bush claiming that things are looking up for the Americans to ‘win’ the war, and the UK Defense secretary John Reid saying the terrorists are “failing to drive Iraq into civil war.”

Both Bush and Reid come off like Pike from Dad’s Army – ‘Don’t panic Captain Mainwaring’! The barefaced cheek of the US/UK axis of international bullying are once again making themselves look utterly stupid, ill-informed, in denial and ridiculous by claiming that the truth that anyone with a TV can see is in fact all made up, and denying the reality as voiced by their own jumped up puppet ruler in the area, Allawi – they chose him, he was clearly ‘trustworthy’ back then. Now he aparently knows less about the situation than special-needs-Bush and the wanker that is John Reid.

Having just been watching David Attenborough’s latest spectacular programme Planet Earth, I was marvelling at the wonder of creation, at the mryiad beauties of the natural world, and feeling like somewhere the midst of all that beautiful complexity, we’ll work it out. Then the news comes on, and a handful of powercrazed fools in positions of unmerited influence are driving us headlong into a world war to protect the financial interests of a handful of their fucked-up billionaire friends and financial backers. It’s as wrong as wrong can be. Watching a nile crocodile drag a wildebeast to its death shows nature to be red in tooth and claw, but also shows the balance, the circle, the richly woven tapestry of a self-sustaining natural world. Watching the power-mongers in Drowning Street and The Shite House drag the situation in the middle east further into a downward spiral of murder, torture, imprisonment without trial, terrorism – state sponsored or otherwise, car bombs, cluster bombs, anti-diplomacy and thinly veiled white supremecy, is just about as depressing as life can get.

As my mum said only last weekend, ‘isn’t it about time for a revolution?’ I don’t think she was joking.

Soundtrack, Brian Houston, ‘Sugar Queen’.

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Radio so bad it's worse…

This is how it goes – things can be a bit naff, but bearable enough for inertia to override the desire to switch off. Then they get bad, and you turn off, after that comes ‘so bad it’s good’ in a reality TV kind of way, and then ‘even worse and you want to shoot the presenters’.

The breakfast show on Radio London is about three previously unimagined steps below this last one – Jono Coleman and JoAnne Good are almost without doubt the stupidest, most inane, inarticulate, educationally challenged, culturally bankrupt pair of losers I’ve ever come across, engaging in the kind of conversation that would cause you to withhold the tip from a taxi driver. So unimaginably poor that you can’t even being to fathom the level of dirt they must have on the programming schedulers to be able to get a gig.

It’s like listening to two particularly poorly educated 12 year olds try and sound bright. JoAnne in particular makes Kelly Brooke look like a phd student.

Their absence from the Radio London Listen Again list is not surprising at all.

So it’s time for us to find something else. Anything, the white noise between stations would be better than hearing yet another guest pause mid sentence, incredulous at how these two lobotomised rodents ever ended up conducting interviews. Like Alan Partridge, without the punch line.

So, Londoners, any suggestions? We’ve had a look at LBC, and apart from Jenny Eclair on a Saturday morning, that looks like slim pickings. Is Wogan any good on R2?
Maybe we should get a DAB and give Phil Jupitus a blast on 6Music…

It’s a shame cos I really like radio London – I love the BBC and I love living in London, so the coming together of the two really ought to be a first class thing. And for most of the schedule it is, particularly the radio masters Robert Elms and Danny Baker. Vanessa’s not bad from 9-12 either. But Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Severe Special Needs really need getting rid of. Broadcasting unworthy of a late night slot on a pirate station, let alone the misuse of licence-fee money.

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OneDotZero at the V&A

Last night was a special video installation night at the V & A Museum, curated by OneDotZero Those in the know tell me that they are the bigwigs in the world of video stuffs, though I’d not heard of them before I read about the event on Jonny’s blog.

Anyway, I went along to check it out, and there were some mildly diverting and fun things going on, but it was all a little hollow, if y’all ask me. There were screens set up all over the museum, in different galleries, and people were wandering from one to the next, chatting and watching a few seconds of each one before moving on. Nothing demanded your attention, or if it did, the physical situation didn’t allow you to engage with it for long. Each piece would have made for a nice installation on its own, or as a feature in an event happening in one place, but the overall effect was of peering through the shop window at Dixons at a dozen TVs showing cool screen-savers.

A few of the installations took a stab at interactivity, but even they ended up being very expensive hi-tech versions of either a lava lamp or an oil-wheel lamp. Perhaps I’m just not post-modern enough. ;o)

Anyway, it was enjoyable wandering around with Jonny and Joel, and meeting up with lots of other lovely friends, from Grace and Moot, and going for a drink afterwards. Much fun with good peoples.

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more on hunting

So tonight’s episode of holiday showdown had a gun toting military family from Lincolnshire going on a holiday-swap with a bisexual anarchist ouple of video artists.

The military monkeys took the anarchists to Texas on a holiday of shooting guns, trying to shoot boar and roping cattle.

then the bi people took the Lincolnshire rednecks to San Francisco for a week of hanging out with trannies, filming the streets of SF for a VJ gig.

What was startling was seeing a bloke, who thought nothing of whooping his teenage son into a testosterone fueled frenzy over a huge gun, describe two men kissing as disgusting and something that no decent person would let their children see… but aiming a Magnum at a human-shaped target (or boar, or deer) was fine.

We’re back to the topic of moral equivalence. OK, so it was intentionally car-crash TV, but the juxtaposition of gun-toting misogyny with anarchist sexual liberalism was a really interesting one, given that bigotry, intolerance and downright nastiness of the Lincolnshire smiling militia.

Shooting good, lovin’ bad. Very odd equation, that one.

As Michael Franti sang – ‘it’s not about who you love, it’s all about do you love’.

As it happens, the wife of trigger happy dan (with his remarkably gay moustache, that made him v. popular in SF!) actually took to the VJ gig really well, but she also couldn’t deal with transgendered dancers in a club. That I’d have had a problem with as well – not because they were transgendered, but just from a human rights angle, I’m not into exploitation at all, and I don’t think transgendered people should be objectified in that way any more than I think women should be. There were a few things in the SF scenes that I’d have issues with, but none of it because it was ‘sick’ or because they were ‘woofters’, more that that level of sexual-obsession tends to stem from either hurt, poor self image or narcissism, none of which need celebrating, just understanding.

But of the two holidays, I’d take a week with the lovely freaky drag-queens of San Fran over a week with the gun totin’, wife subjugatin’ rednecks any day… All the freaky people make the beauty of the world, to quote the lovely Franti again…

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Wireless and screenless

thanks to the house insurance company demanding that we get window locks fitted, I had to completely dismantle my office yesterday (those of you that have seen my office are currently receiving oxygen at the thought…). The lack of a desktop computer to hook my laptop up to, and the marvellous experiences I’d had with wireless in the US (wi-fi is the finest invention since the Ebow), I decided it was time to get a wireless hub.

Four hours of tweaking and two calls to Onetel later, and I got it working. It’s worth noting that if you’re trying to configure a Zoom X6 5590 wireless modem and router that you can’t write to flash from Safari – I tried for ages and couldn’t get it to work. As soon as I switched to Firefox (which I didn’t even know I’d downloaded for mac!) it worked a treat and I was able to configure it. Well, configure everything except the password for the wireless network, so at the moment, anyone in my area can access my network, though not my computer, thankfully.

One of the methods I tried to get the router configured was to hook up my desktop computer and try that, but when I did it appeared the screen wasn’t working. I tried the screen with my laptop and that was fine, so it seems my video card has gone west. Need to get some advice today on fitting new video cards from either the Lovely G or The Captain…

But at least I now have WiFi in the house, the nicest upshot of which is that i’m sat here in total silence – no humming fans on my PC providing noise pollution. I can go and sit in front of the TV and do all my email things while watching family guy, and life is good.

Tonight I’m playing in Petersfield with Theo – first night of our tour, playing a whole load of new music, some favourites and some new versions of old tunes. I’m really looking forward to it, though I’m still feeling a little jetlagged. It’ll be my first theo gig with the Looperlative, which will be fun.

And tomorrow we’re at the Vortex in London – please come along!

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Galloway – Dereliction of Duty?

The ever thought-provoking Sid Smith has blogged today about George Galloway on Big Brother, quoting the following excerpt from the Respect Party website –

“I will talk about racism, bigotry, poverty, the plight of Tower Hamlets, the poorest place in England sandwiched between the twin towers of wealth and privilege in Canary Wharf and the spires of the City. I will talk about war and peace, about Bush and Blair, about the need for a world based on respect. Some of it will get through.”

As Sid points out, there’s no way on earth that Channel Four are going to allow the Big Brother broadcasts to be a platform for political rhetoric. From what I’ve seen, there’s been none so far. There have been A LOT of conversations edited for content – those conversations could be libelous, commercially sensitive or overly political. I think George is going to be sorely disappointed when he gets out and sees the footage.

I’m with Sid on this one – I said from the start that I thought Galloway’s decision left him in dereliction of duty as an MP – he’s been democratically elected to represent the people of Tower Hamlets, people who are voiceless. He’s missing the parliamentary debate on The Crossrail project, he already has the third worst attendance record as an MP (last year he was second worst, behind Blair – I’m guessing someone somewhere is off on long-term sick). He’s just not doing his job.

My feelings towards Galloway are mixed – his anti-war stance is great, his opposition to the Blair/Bush lunacy and lies is laudable, and his performance in the US senate last year was one of the outstanding political acts of my lifetime. But the Respect party is a bizarre mis-match – a union of the far-left Socialist Workers Party and the rather more authoritarian Muslim Association of Great Britain. I wouldn’t vote for either party in isolation, and I’m certainly not about to support them in their bizarre union, though I guess one has to applaud the pragmatism of those involved – there can’t really be much of an ideological cross-over between the two groups!

But all that aside, I really don’t think Galloway should be in the BB house – and it’ll be interesting to see if he gets called up in front of a select committee and fined or punished in anyway… But it’d also be nice to see the papers being a bit more balanced in their political reporting, so MPs like Galloway don’t end up doing reality TV to try and get a point across! what a bizarre world we live in. I’m sure part of it is just that Galloway is a bit of an ego-maniac, but if there’s any truth in his appearance being part of an attempt to reach the apolitical masses, then the media is failing to educate and inform.

However, it is fun to see Galloway being exposed to the seedier side of life via the conversations of Jodie Marsh and Dennis Rodman, who are both utterly foul. Dennis Rodman comes across as one of the most sexually predatory people I’ve ever seen in my life, and Jodie seems in capable of any degree of self-restraint, she’ll seemingly say anything to out-filth whoever else is talking, even to the point of sounding wholly unconvincing in the process.

It really is a rum bunch of no-marks in the house. A lot has to do with the way it gets broadcast, and in general we see very little of Maggot, Rula, George and Faria in the shows, unless they get caught in the crossfire of another conversation about sex/orgies/boobs/surgery/yada yada yada. Is that really what people are interesting in hearing about these days? I am, as Liz said in the comments the other day, hopelessly out of touch…

Don’t forget that if you want the latest news, forget the BB website, and follow codenamelizzy’s updates – far more entertaining!

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Celeb Big Brother

Sorry for waiting two whole days before blogging about this!

What a rum bunch of D-list no-marks we’ve got in the house! OK, so Barrymore is a ‘real’ celeb, and Dennis Rodman is a massive star in the US, if pretty much unknown in the UK, but Faria Alam? Come on, Channel four, you can do better than that.

The full list, in case you’re not watching it, goes –

George Galloway (Respect party leader and MP)
Rula Lenska (Actress and Ginge)
Tracey Bingham (ex-baywatch no-mark)
Jody Marsh (famous for getting drunk and getting her boobs out in lads-mags. A walking tragedy)
Preston (singer with mod also-rans, the Ordinary Boys)
Maggot (one of the blokes from thus-far one-hit-wonders, Goldie Looking Chain)
Faria Alam (shags footie blokes. No skills, no morals)
Dennis Rodman (one of the greatest basketball players of all time, but clearly a bit of a twat)
Pete Burns (fab singer from Dead Or Alive, trannie and indulger in much plastic surgery)
Michael Barrymore (beseiged mentally ill former lowest common denominator presenter of moronic game shows. Tragic home life, clearly not a well man at all. Really shouldn’t be there)
and some girl called Chantelle who is supposed to be pretending to be a celeb, but isn’t, except that she’s a Paris Hilton lookalike, and former page 3 girl. Car crash TV at its worst.

So, who’s interesting? Well, Pete Burns has always interested me – a fascinating mess of a bloke, sometimes seems incredibly self-assured, at other times overwhelmingly damaged. Maybe we’ll see which.

Galloway is a mixed bag – his speech in the senate was my number one media event of last year, but he’s an egotist and is definitely in dereliction of duty by being there – the man’s a serving MP, FFS!!!

Jody Marsh – if ever there was a case of someone whining about a world they’ve created for themselves, and could end at any moment it’s Jody’s world. Wears not very much, and complains at adverse media attention. Could turn out to be interesting if she has some kind of epiphany about her life. Hugely unlikely though.

Dennis Rodman – one of the most instantly unlikeable people I’ve ever seen on screen. It is interesting to see someone who in ‘normal’ life is always the biggest celeb in the room suddenly in a place where no-one except the Baywatch woman really knows much about him, and none of them could really care less.

Tracey Bingham – the female equiv. of Rodman – instantly gives a very very bad impression on screen. Seems utterly desperate for fame and recognition. Seemingly entirely without merit as a ‘media star’.

Barrymore, as said, shouldn’t really be there.

Faria Alam – are you kidding?

so it’s kind of down to Preston, Maggot and Rula to surprise us all by being really normal and interesting and keeping things in there calm, and generally counterbalancing the emotional pile-up that is already beginning to unfold between the less stable members of the house.

It’s horrible viewing, it’s a crass concept, but I’m going to watch because it’s the first year that we’ve had a freeview box and so can get E4. And that, my friends, is as good a reason as any for wasting all that time. :o)

For the best roundup thus far, have a read of Codenamelizzy‘s daily BB updates. In fact, read all of Lizzy’s blog, she’s a great comedy blogger. Mad in real life, of course, but a great blogger.

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Christmas films

no, not the films on the TV – TSP and I always rent a pile of DVDs over Christmas, to catch up on some of the films we’d wanted to see in the year but never got round to going to – I think the last thing we saw at the Cinema was the third Harry Potter film, last christmas!

Anyway, the three films we’ve watched so far are Festival, Wedding Crashers and The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.

Festival was one I’d wanted to see when I first heard about it – a film set at the Edinburgh festival, so one I thought I’d recognise lots in. Then it won best comedy film at the Comedy Awards last month, so we got it on DVD. It’s a good film. Pretty bleak in places, and the picture in paints of the comedy world at the festival is a grim one – I certainly didn’t encounter anyone who was quite that competitive, obsessed or insane… maybe it’s that the kinds of acts that get booked into the C-Venues venues are a bit closer to the artsy/lovies crowd that are represented in the film by the girl doing the one woman show and the Canadian drama company – their edinburgh certainly looked a little more familiar. Still, it was an enjoyable film.

Wedding Crashers – the plot held no attraction at all, but I do like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson so assumed it’d be good. And it is! Morally reprehensible, but lots of fun, a fantastic web of deceit and some slapstick moments. Owen Wilson was fab as always. Hollywood nonsense, yes, but very entertaining hollywood nonsense.

And the Hitchhiker’s Guide – the TV series is one of my all-time favourite TV series, perfectly acted and scripted, and all the visualisations have become so iconic for anyone who watched it, that it was going to be tough to see it a) reinterpreted, and b) compressed into the length of the film. That said, it was really well done – the casting was excellent, and the references to the original were really nicely done – the original Marvin appearing in the queue on Vogsphere, the original Arthur Dent giving the ‘away message’ on Magrathia. All in all, a very enjoyable film. And all three make it into my list of favourite films of the year, just by virtue of me having seen so few new films this year!

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Happy Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve, the christmas shopping is done, lots of videos rented to watch over the next couple of days, a Looperlative to play with – we’re all set.

All that’s left is to wish all you lovely bloglings an exceedingly happy christmas. It’s a bit late to say it now, but I really hope you haven’t overspent on pressies and trimmings – as I say every year, the best present you can give your family is a debt-free new year (even if they tell you it’s an X-Box).

Take it easy, enjoy it, enjoy the time you have off from work, think through all the things you have to be grateful for, and chill.

We’re doing absolutely nothing – just me, TSP and the Fairly Aged Felines, relaxin’ eating some cool veggie food (well, me and TSP – I don’t think the cats are going to be wanting sprouts and sweet potato!), watching some festive TV, and enjoying some time off, before getting stuck into last year’s tax accounts early next week…

Tonight we’ll go to midnight mass, and tomorrow we’ll probably go to church in the morning, but other than that it’s lots of slobbing out in front of the TV and a bit of bass playing in between.

And if you’re celebrating something other than Christmas, enjoy it, and please sign into the forum and tell us all about it – I’m not that up on the specifics of most of the other celebrations that take place around this time that the Americans group together as just ‘holidays’.

cheers!

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Strike a blow for the indies

That’s indie musicians, not the west or east indies. I mean, anything you can do for those indies would probably be much appreciated too, but I haven’t got time to get into that.

This week something marvellous occurred – the current number one single in the pop charts in the UK is ‘The JCB Song’ by Nizlopi (listen to it on their myspace page. They run their own label, have been gigging doggedly on the acoustic folky singer/songwriter scene in the UK for years, and write songs about childhood experiences, not getting jiggy or bling or whatever other nonsense usually populates the upper reaches of the chart.

And for months, there’s been this rumour going round the net that The JCB Song could be christmas number one. I can’t remember where I first heard it – a whisper from here or there. They had a page done with the video on it, which is a hand-drawn childish cartoon of a kid riding in a JCB with his dad (for the US readers, a JCB is a big mechanical digger). It’s beautiful. They’ve done an amazing job of evoking childhood with both the song and the video, and they’ve somehow got it to number one.

Like Show Of Hands managing to fill The Albert Hall, this is one of the most magical moments when real music invades the world of the shallow money-driven reality-tv horse-shit that populates the charts for the rest of the year. When some genuine talent sticks it’s head over the parapet and says ‘here’s a song you might really like, even without some godawful backstory told by the X-Factor to try and convince you that I’m just a roofer done good, living out his dreams, as opposed to a third rate karaoke singer with a dreadful backing track, lining Simon Cowell’s pockets.’

So, the big news is that yesterday I bought a song while it’s at number one for the first time since 1986! the last one was I think ‘Rock Me Amadeus’ by Falco, though it might have been Spitting Image’s ‘The Chicken Song’ – either way, I’ve still got them both. :o)

If Shane from X-Factor does make it to number one, it’ll be another one of those ‘Fairytale Of New York’ moments – a song that gets played everywhere every christmas due to it being one of the finest christmas songs ever written. But can you remember what was the christmas number on the year it was released? Fairytale was number two…

It’ll be the same with this – years to come, people will talk about Nizlopi, they’ll play the song and cry cos it’s gorgeous, and they’ll rue the day that some loser who ended up playing butlins within a year was at number one instead. UNLESS YOU BUY IT. Go on, it’s 79p on iTunes, or the other download services. Go and get it, strike a blow, enjoy the song, and feel like you’ve done something worthwhile.

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