Euroblog #8 – a rant about Smoking

euroblog 8 Smoking rant.

so here I am, stuck in smoking carriage because the complete loser at Venice booked me here. It’s horrible. I’d almost rather be sat next to the loos and be able to smell piss. And smokers look so bloody stupid. Smoking makes you look like such a tool. Really, it does. If you’re reading this and you smoke, there’s part of me that thinks you’re a bit of a twat. I might love you dearly, respect you, admire you and think you’re wonderful in every other way, but the part of you that smokes is fucking stupid.

Come on, think about it – it serves no positive purpose at all (OK, it’s a sedative, but an appalling way to take any medication – there’s a reason why even the most heinous of pharmaceutical transnational corps haven’t started producing anti-headache ciggies). It makes you smell, makes me smell, it’s killing us all. Reduces your fitness. You’ve been had, you’re a slave and your money is lining the pockets of twats like Kenneth Clarke. Tobacco production is a hugely evil business, tobacco marketing in the third world is heinous beyond belief.

There’s no such thing as a fair trade cigarette (OK, there’s that company that’s making organic ones, but it’s not the same thing at all) – you can’t have a fair trade company who aim to make you so addicted it kills you. If you claim to be an eco-monkey, and are smoking, you’re an even bigger loser (Greenbelters take note). We’ve all got our hypocrisies – God knows I’ve got mine! – but giving up smoking is just about the coolest thing you can do for the planet, that will also benefit you and those around you massively. Everybody wins except the shitbags who have shares in tobacco companies, and I would so love to see them bankrupted.

So stop, go on. I dare you. I’ll think SO much more of you if you do. And just in case your thinking I don’t know how hard it is to stop, I used to smoke, in my teens, and early 20s. When I was a total dickhead. Stopping was part of my transition into being a human being. I stopped overnight. Cravings? of course. Social pressure to smoke every time I went to the pub? You bet, Did I? Apart from the very occasional cigar through the late 90s, not at all.

Just think how many people are feeling towards you the way I feel towards these fucking smokers in this carriage I’m forced to sit in. It’s not good. not good at all. Avoid it, stop smoking.

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