So yesterday’s FA Cup final went to penalties for the first time ever.
Anyway, file me in the box marked ‘couldn’tgiveashit’, but I really think they could come up with some better ways to sort it out if both teams can’t score a single goal after 120 minutes.
1 – Twister. Each team picks two team members, and they play Twister to decide the winner.
2 – General knowledge – can’t score goals? Try them on capital cities or european history and see who’s best.
3 – paper scissors stone – not quite so dramatic, but it’d get it over an done with pretty quick.
4 – A battle royal – roll a wrestling ring into the middle of the field, all 22 blokes in there, last standing wins.
Other options to liven up the dull spectacle that is football (yes, football, not ‘soccer’) –
1 – remove the goalies.
2 – widen the goals by a few feet.
3 – introduce ‘It’s A Knockout’-style obstacles – it’d be much more fun with each of the players dressed as giant disney characters in 4 foot shoes, trying to kick a beach ball with a four foot diameter whilst being squirted with water cannon and trying to carry a custard pie.
4 – scrap it, and go to a gig instead.
Soundtrack – Patty Larkin, ‘Angels Running’.